September 1, 2009

Militant Excellence

Local radicals heed the call and win a stunning Victory on the price of a new Vauxhall

Groucho Marx before he was famous

So, in this mélange of Olympic class tick-boxing, coupled frantically with statistical "Excellence", what are our local patients' voice organisations doing? Are they venting their fury at ever increasingly acrimonious user consultation meetings? Are they, fuck.

And what about the original Foundation Trust Watch? Oh yes, we were not the first. Previously, the public workers' union said "UNISON believes Foundation Trust status undermine the principles of the national health service".

So outraged were they, they set up the original Foundation Trust Watch to surveil those evil bastards that were going to tear the NHS to shreds and throw the pieces to the private sector.

In a move of militant "Excellence"

In a move of militant "Excellence" they devolved the campaign to their branches, complete with a list of local organisations to infiltrate and subvert:

1 Local government scrutiny committees
2 Non executives on PCTs
3 Health councils and patient forums
4 Trades councils
5 Trade union branches
6 Local Labour party
7 Community organisations

Did they?

Did they, fuck.

Right at the crucial moment, when the revolution was to be sparked, they were distracted by a man from Vauxhall Motors with a special deal offering the union's members up 21% of the price of a new car.

Down came the Red Flag and up went the poster for the new Corsa Life 12i 16V.

while Napoleon projectile vomits statistics

And the lumpen proletariat falls back to their suicidal ideation and maximum strength shut-you-up pills, while Napoleon projectile vomits statistics in the face of the Inner Party, before getting her snout down for some serious Troughing and Squealer goes on the local radio to tell the rest of us to "be nice to Mad people 'cause there's a lot of it about".

Yes, being nice to Mad People would make a lovely change from staff lining up to take turns pissing on us.

It's "Excellence", of sorts, I suppose.



  1. Hi FTW

    I like the blog. I like voices of non compliance (particularly when there are many things that warrant non compliance).

    My view is a bleak one. That public apathy will mean that very little positive change will occur. We live in a centralised society which is dictated to from the centre and that seems to be getting worse.

    Good luck with the blog and hope this contributes to something better for everyone using the NHS. Gotta live in hope, even in the bleakest times.


  2. If there's to be change it must come from the grass roots, and be, by us - for us.

    Our "Advocates" and "User Forums" are state funded, poodle-ized extensions of the oppressive mhs.

    Their idea of direct action is sitting down for a Nice Cup of Tea with authors of our distress.

    The third sector traitors are equally beholden to their nhs funders and are as toothless as an 18 year old Yorkie.

    They are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

    By Us - For Us: No Compromise.

  3. Absolutely fucking masterful

  4. Hilarious. It's Genius, of sorts, I suppose.

  5. Ow, thats gonna be sore in the morning.

  6. Oh my Dears! Such eloquent praise, such subtle meter; finally my audience arrives.

    All is right in the world.

    Next time on your knees and ululate.

  7. You like dogs Thats excellent I have a dobie bitch and she is suffering in Kennels at present because I have not had time to see her and my parents hate her for the attention she gives to me and to how much attention I give to her She is also Benjis pal
    I think my parents are jealous

    Henry Author and founder of Rita is my pal

  8. Dogs are more reliable and easier to train than husbands.

    They have much to recommend them.

  9. Meow Pussycat. What did he do?

  10. Masterful.

    Evidence Based Ranting at its finest.

    I see from your blogroll, you've learned from the masters.

  11. being nice to Mad People would make a lovely change to staff lining up to take turns pissing on us

    A little demotic perhaps; poetic nevertheless.

  12. Napoleon projectile vomits statistics in the face of the Inner Party, before getting her snout down for some serious Troughing

    If it's worth saying once, it's worth saying again.

    You should get the musician chap to set it to music.

  13. Socrates,

    Someones got there before us. See the Ian Dury vid above.


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